So my friends and I were playing a little of the game of “Useless Super Powers” on the car ride home, and we came up with what I think is a very good one. The uncontrollable ability to remove the alcohol from any beverage served at a party that you attend and from the bloodstream of anyone who attended that party. The users name? Buzzkill.
Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”